Friendship is more than "someone to talk to": how research maps what autistic adults say about friendship

Byline: Chau Sir / chausir.com

This article summarises public research with AI assistance.

1. What this study did

Wu, from the Department of Rehabilitation Sciences at Nanjing Normal University of Special Education in China, and Wang, from the Department of Social Work at Tunghai University in Taiwan, published a scoping review online on 14 April 2025 in Frontiers in Psychiatry, volume 16, Article 1523506. Following the Arksey and O'Malley framework and the PRISMA-ScR extension, they searched through December 2023 (PubMed, ERIC, Web of Science, and several EBSCO psychology databases, including the Psychology and Behavioral Sciences Collection, APA PsycArticles, APA PsycInfo, and Open Dissertations), plus hand searches of reference lists and Google Scholar. After removing duplicates and ineligible records from about 463 records, they included 22 empirical studies, mostly from the United States and the United Kingdom, spanning qualitative, quantitative, and mixed methods. Participants were autistic adults aged 18 or above (some studies also reached late adolescence). The review mapped friendship status, ways of making friends, meanings of friendship, and links between friendship and other life factors. [1]

2. What the literature maps

The literature map shows wide variation in friendship experience. Quantitative studies more often report that, relative to a typically developing comparison group, autistic adults score lower on some friendship questionnaires, or that caregivers report fewer reciprocal friends. Yet some comparison studies find higher scores on intimacy scales among autistic respondents than among typically developing peers, so "fewer and closer" and "more and shallower" cannot be cut one way.

Qualitative work more often notes that autistic adults define friends in their own words, with more weight on shared interests, accepted difference, and meeting around concrete activities than meeting only to chat. Some papers also describe difficulties in making friends, negative social experiences, and the need to spot unhealthy relationships. In some studies, having more friends and higher friendship quality appear together with lower loneliness, lower emotional distress, and higher life satisfaction. The authors stress this is a map of the literature, not proof that "making more friends" necessarily helps every autistic adult feel better. Included studies remain few, mostly English-language, with large differences in measures and informants (self-report versus caregiver report), and still thin description of where friendship happens (community, workplace, online). These are descriptive associations and gaps from the current literature. They do not prove that any single factor will bring a particular result. [1]

3. Reading caveats

This is a scoping review. It draws a map of how autistic adults talk about friendship, how friendship is measured, and who reports it. Samples, designs, measures and informants (self-report versus caregiver report) are not consistent, and most studies come from English-language literature and from the United States and the United Kingdom. Overseas social rhythms also differ from those in Hong Kong, so the findings are a reference only. Do not assume that autistic adults necessarily have no friends, and do not treat "making more friends" as something that will necessarily help every autistic adult feel better. Both "fewer and closer" and "more and shallower" appear in the literature; neither pattern should be cut one way. The review is not a complete picture of any one family. [1]

4. How Hong Kong parents can use this

A familiar Hong Kong scene: as a young person grows up, family asks "do you have friends," and school notes write "fewer peers," but few people ask "what counts as a friend for you." Or a youth keeps in touch by message with only a few people who share interests, and adults conclude "not social enough." The value of this scoping review is shifting the lens from "do they have friends" to "how friendship is measured, who reports it, and what it means to the person." The literature map shows self-report and caregiver report can paint different pictures; autistic adults more often mention shared interests and feeling accepted than only "going out and chatting all the time"; quantity and quality appear together with loneliness and emotional state in some studies, but not the same for everyone.

Day to day you might try: ask "who makes you feel accepted" rather than press for a name list; keep separate notes on "wanted friend time" and "contact that actually happens now"; if they prefer meeting around shared interests, look together for low-stimulation, themed gatherings instead of pushing into one loud large event. Chinese families sometimes treat "few friends equals failure"; the literature map instead suggests first clarifying the measurement angle and how the person defines friendship, then thinking with school or family support about accessible social arrangements.

From a CRP (Communication, Relationship, Parenting) point of view, you can start with communication and relationship: adults and a trusted person ask "who makes you feel accepted" rather than only chasing a name list, keep the rhythm of meeting around shared interests, and avoid carrying alone the pressure to "know more people." The research is a reference only. Every family has its own pace, and there is no need to blame yourself or your child. If social life and loneliness keep weighing heavily on the young person and the family, you can check with a parent group or a family support service about ways to walk alongside. If there is an immediate crisis, call 999 or the Mental Health Support Hotline 18111.

Sources

1. Wu, T., & Wang, D.-c. (2025). Experiences of friendship among autistic adults: a scoping review. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 16, Article 1523506. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2025.1523506 (publisher page: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2025.1523506/full; open access: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2025.1523506/pdf)

Disclaimer

Educational information, not a diagnosis or medical advice.

Chau Sir's talks and articles are parent education. They do not provide diagnosis, assessment or treatment, and do not provide medical or medication advice. If needed, please consult a qualified professional.